How to shift back to being frugal and actually be okay with it?

I would say I was poor for roughly 85% of my life. I spent my entire childhood in a poor family (poor, not middle, poor), married the first POS that said he loved me and stayed, had three children and remained bottom of the barrel poor. I finally got out of the abuse and sold a home that I bought with an inheritance in a tourist area and got a taste of freedom, from abuse and poverty. I had my own money, I made okay choices, and I did just fine.

I remarried, started a new career, my husband makes six figures, I make around 65-70k a year, and we do well. He likes to be frugal when it comes to expenses but there are things we differ on, his children’s expenses and things he likes to buy for himself, yet I am to remain frugal. He says he doesn’t see that I have to be frugal, but his actions do not mirror his words…

I’m struggling with having to “feel poor” when I’ve worked so hard to not BE POOR. How do you feel rich when you are frugal, but doing okay financially? Tips, tricks? Something, anything to make me feel like I’m okay and I’m not being smothered? I’m trying to not go back to where I started because he is not my ex-husband, it’s not the same situation, we have the same end goal, but the middle is hard for me right now after having a taste of really living.