Am I frugal person or just a byproduct of growing up poor

I grew up poor (by my country’s standards) I was the only one of my entire class that didn’t go to the big senior school trip abroad because I couldn’t afford the ticket contribution amount so I made up a story about why I couldn’t go. For the rest of the year I was out of jokes and stories that happened during the week long trip. I almost dropped out of university because I couldn’t afford to pay rent and expenses even while working part time.

Now I’m enjoying some success relatively speaking compared to my previous life and I still find myself spending the exact same amount as all those years ago. I still will not eat out and only get the cheap combo meal from McDonald’s sometimes when I don’t have anything to cook and forgot to go grocery shopping.

I feel bad every time I spend money even though it should be the opposite. I work for my money and spending it should be a reward not a bad thing. of course spending a lot is bad but I can’t even spend anything besides the bare minimum of food and rent without feeling like I’m wasting money.

I’m always in that mode as I was in university like I have 20 dollars left in my bank account to get through the last days of the month.

It’s getting to a point where even I understand how absurd it is and it’s probably a mental issue not frugality.

Any experiences and how do you deal with an issue like this? I love being frugal but making myself feel guilty for spending any amount of money all the time doesn’t feel like what frugality is about.

Just like only throwing shit out and having a clean place is not what minimalism is all about.